Ah, teenagers. I have been blessed with two. Hannah and Sarah are 14 and have dived into high school and being teens like they have been waiting for it all their lives. They LOVE it. For Marc and I, that means we have become the enemy. There hasn't been any confrontations or behavior issues, it's just the eye rolls and the one word answers:
Mom: "Hi! How was school!"
Hannah/Sarah: "Fine"
Mom: "What did you do?"
Hannah/Sarah: "Nothing"
Mom: "Did you have a good day"
Hannah/Sarah: "No"
Mom: "Do you want to talk about it?"
Hannah/Sarah: "No"
So goes a conversation with a teenager. Now in all honesty, Sarah isn't quite as bad as Hannah. In fact, at times, Sarah talks so much, there is no air left in the room! But, they are mine, and I love them. I have, however, discovered an easy way for all parents to communicate with your teen and get ALL the juicy details of their lives. Last Friday, Hannah had oral surgery. She was on "laughing gas" for quite a while as we waited for the numbing shots to take effect. She was HILARIOUS! It started with her staring blankly at her hands as she held them high in the air. "My hands feel funny, Mom". That's the medicine I told her. "My hands feel sweaty". "Oh, do they feel clammy?" I asked her? "MOM!" says Hannah in a very loud voice, "I don't know what a clam feels like!!!". I tried to shush her and she says "I'm having trouble controlling the volume of my voice" Then she laughed loudly and hysterically for about 10 minutes. Several of the dental assistants kept popping their heads in and asking "Is everything ok in here?". She was out of control talking and this was a side of Hannah I have never seen. She then asked me if I'd like to hear about her day. She started with the ride in the car to school with Dad, till the moment I picked her up. She was very precise. "In Biology we read chapter 4 and answered questions 1 through 10 in the study guide". Just on and on with every class and every detail, now I was laughing hysterically, prompting another round of dental assitants asking if we were ok. So, my point is- if you want to know what your teen is up to, take them to the dentist and get them the laughing gas. You will hear more than you may want to. The good news is Hannah did excellent during her procedure and had very little pain during and after. She had a nice weekend full of soup and ice cream.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Love like you were dying
There is a great Tim McGraw song titled "Live like you were dying" and it talks about a man who has been given a terminal cancer diagnosis illness and what he would do. You'll notice the title of this blog is "LOVE" like you were dying and it's a simple concept that we all need to embrace. You see to live like you are dying is to do the things we want to do, putting the selfish needs of ourselves first. To love like you are dying is to every day treat those around you with love, caring, kindness and respect.
When I was with TIP, I helped so many families who were full of sadness for not loving enough. For living for themselves and not loving the one that had died with the love, caring, kindness and respect that person deserved. These people were always more difficult to help as they carried the burden of guilt, wondering, "Did (insert name here) know how much I loved him?
I am one of those people I am talking about. I live like I am dying instead of loving like I am dying. Last week, it was my family that got "the" phone call. The one we all get at one point. My Mom called me and I could hear the sadness in her voice. My Uncle Rick in San Diego had a major heart attack and was not doing well. My Uncle Rick is the ONLY family my Dad has left. My Dad and brother Tim quickly packed, jumped into the truck and hit the road for San Diego hoping that they would make it before my Uncle died. Back here in Vancouver, we prayed and shared the few memories we had about our Uncle who chose to live a life that did not include us. Except for the obligatory Christmas Card, there was little communication. We (my siblings and I) knew that Uncle Rick loved us, he just didn't need/want to see us. He was quirky in that way.
I immediately felt guilt. The why didn't I, I should have, I could have, etc., ran quickly through my selfish brain. And oddly enough, I cried and cried! I cried so much, that I had to go to my sisters house just so I wouldn't be alone. She was holding it together much better than I was, but she was sad too. We talked a lot about why he would want a life that excluded us. It's hard to believe he is my Dads brother because my Dad is SO loving and sweet and always wants to be with us. He loves his children and grandchildren very demonstratively and we all love it. How could these 2 men come from the same parents? I don't think Uncle Rick was trying to hurt us, I just don't think he was thinking about our feelings at all. He definately did not love like he was dying.
My Dad and brother made in to San Diego safely, and a funny thing happened. My Uncle Rick rallied. He felt better. Certainly didn't appear to be dying according to my Dad. He was even cracking jokes and having some fun. So Hospice came to the house today and explained that many times those who are dying will rally when family is there and most likely, if/when my Dad comes home, my Uncle's heart, which only has 10% of it's muscle functioning, will stop. Most likely my Uncle will feel weak and die in his sleep. This makes me very sad, especially for Dad who will lose his last link to his childhood. I am happy that my Dad chose to love like he was dying long ago. That even though his brother didn't reach out, my Dad did. That even though my Dad's brother didn't make any effort to drive to Washington to see my Dad, my Dad made the trip to San Diego frequently. I am proud of my Dad. And for him, I am going to love like I am dying too.
When I was with TIP, I helped so many families who were full of sadness for not loving enough. For living for themselves and not loving the one that had died with the love, caring, kindness and respect that person deserved. These people were always more difficult to help as they carried the burden of guilt, wondering, "Did (insert name here) know how much I loved him?
I am one of those people I am talking about. I live like I am dying instead of loving like I am dying. Last week, it was my family that got "the" phone call. The one we all get at one point. My Mom called me and I could hear the sadness in her voice. My Uncle Rick in San Diego had a major heart attack and was not doing well. My Uncle Rick is the ONLY family my Dad has left. My Dad and brother Tim quickly packed, jumped into the truck and hit the road for San Diego hoping that they would make it before my Uncle died. Back here in Vancouver, we prayed and shared the few memories we had about our Uncle who chose to live a life that did not include us. Except for the obligatory Christmas Card, there was little communication. We (my siblings and I) knew that Uncle Rick loved us, he just didn't need/want to see us. He was quirky in that way.
I immediately felt guilt. The why didn't I, I should have, I could have, etc., ran quickly through my selfish brain. And oddly enough, I cried and cried! I cried so much, that I had to go to my sisters house just so I wouldn't be alone. She was holding it together much better than I was, but she was sad too. We talked a lot about why he would want a life that excluded us. It's hard to believe he is my Dads brother because my Dad is SO loving and sweet and always wants to be with us. He loves his children and grandchildren very demonstratively and we all love it. How could these 2 men come from the same parents? I don't think Uncle Rick was trying to hurt us, I just don't think he was thinking about our feelings at all. He definately did not love like he was dying.
My Dad and brother made in to San Diego safely, and a funny thing happened. My Uncle Rick rallied. He felt better. Certainly didn't appear to be dying according to my Dad. He was even cracking jokes and having some fun. So Hospice came to the house today and explained that many times those who are dying will rally when family is there and most likely, if/when my Dad comes home, my Uncle's heart, which only has 10% of it's muscle functioning, will stop. Most likely my Uncle will feel weak and die in his sleep. This makes me very sad, especially for Dad who will lose his last link to his childhood. I am happy that my Dad chose to love like he was dying long ago. That even though his brother didn't reach out, my Dad did. That even though my Dad's brother didn't make any effort to drive to Washington to see my Dad, my Dad made the trip to San Diego frequently. I am proud of my Dad. And for him, I am going to love like I am dying too.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Bite your tongue!
As I shared in my last blog, please pray for my best friend, June. She was just diagnosed with breast cancer and has some big decisions to make.
I don't have any pithe comments or great jokes to make you smile- just a sincere request for prayer for myself and June.
My sweet nephew Zachary just got sworn into the Army. He leaves pretty quickly after he graduates high school. He wants to be a Chaplain. He is already an Elder at his Church. I am VERY proud of him.
My other nephew, Jack, who is only 7 months old, called me on accident the other day. It was pretty funny. I could hear a obscene sucking sound and his mothers voice in the background. I called her on her cell to make sure she was ok and told her someone from her house was calling me. We all had a great laugh. Jack is pretty funny! In this picture below, he is wearing my favorite onesie. It says: "Sorry Bitches, I only date models" Too funny!
XOXOXO Dawn
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